In speaking with a friend who heads a large team in several separate locations, he mentioned that he was pleased with himself as a manager in how he had handled a certain situation in a project their team was doing and a problem they had to deal with. He said that he was happy with himself that he had specifically found ways to motivate his team members to each do their best despite some very different personality and work styles. He also was very happy that he had managed to delegate without hovering, which is something he has struggled with in the past that we have talked about managing. I congratulated him on his accomplishment; I do feel it takes a certain amount of self-awareness to trust in oneself and the process enough to let go.
However, after our discussion it struck me: these are skills that parents have to develop to be successful and possibly to stay (more?) sane. As our children grow, we realize that at a certain point, children must be left to do their own work, have their own successes and failures and have their own learning style. Different children even those raised in the same household may have wildly different personalities, learning styles, approaches to conflict and even work ethics.
I won’t hide that I did feel somewhat pleased that I realized that I have developed better management skills through being a mother and that perhaps they are incrementally better as a function of my staying home with my children and experiencing the issues full on, rather than delegating to a caregiver. I often ask myself and my children if I could have handled a certain situation better. (360 feedback, anyone?) I alternate between raising the bar, and providing guidance and support in an effort to help my children excel. I have also learned that I have to let them fail so that they can learn not to repeat their mistake. I had never connected that these parenting skills could contribute so heavily to being a good manager.
For those of you contemplating a return and feeling like you might have lost skills, perhaps you have become rustier on some technical skills. But you also may have built some invaluable intangible skills that are now in demand. If you can focus on the strengths you have built, you can feel current and confident in your return to full-time, paid work…. because we’ve got this!
We've Got This 